Teavana / Heaven of Tea is the only corporate tea shop in the world. We sell the top 5% of tea in the world, from 11 different countries. We also sell every type of way to make your tea including glass, bone china, and every clumsy persons favorite, Cast Iron.
Teavana renders no advertisement, except for a few daily samplers from over 200 stores. Teavana also guarantees top quality teas with no question, also top discounts and ease.
Yes, when you, the moron customer, walk into said Teavana you will wander, and wonder. You will not give a fuck about what is happening around you, just that it smells great. Let me tell you this:
THERE IS A GOD DAMNED TEAOLOGIST TRYING TO GIVE YOU A TOUR OF THE STORE, PUMP YOU FULL OF INFO, SEND YOU HOME WITH A WAY TO MAKE LOOSE LEAF TEA, AND THEN THE TEA YOU LOVED ACCORDING TO YOUR WALLET. NOT OUR GOALS, NOT FOR OUR BEST INTEREST. BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT YOU WILL BUY WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD AND THAT IS IT.
Also we do this great thing called top -down selling in which we show the best of what we have first; because it is what every person deserves. I would be so pissed off if all I was ever shown was the shittiest of something. Everyone is treated the same. Samples, tours, tea, sugar, drinks. No one is judged, or looked at by what they are to see who has money. We assume you love the tea, and you love the benefits.
I love it when people try to say Teavana is a pushy sale oriented store, when in actuality we are merely creating an Americanized tea culture among each person that we grace. Tea is the number one consumed drink in the world, it’s nothing new. It’s just something that is not enjoyed by masses of Americans.
Thanks,
STFU
The Pissy Teaologist
